By Benjamin P. Hardy
How is your confidence doing right now?
Last week while at therapy, my wife told me she felt my confidence has been low lately. The reason, she thought, was because I still hadn’t completed my PhD, even though I am very close.
During that therapy session, Lauren told me to go up to Clemson and finish my degree. She’ll keep home-base taken care of, with the help of her supportive mom, while I’m away.
So I got a rental care and drove 8.5 hours from Orlando where we live up to Clemson, South Carolina. I’m here finishing something I’ve been avoiding for too long.
I’m grateful to have a wife who loves me enough to speak honestly to me and then gives me permission to do what I need to do.
CONFIDENCE, from a scientific perspective, is the byproduct of prior performance. In other words, confidence must be earned. Your confidence is the emotional evidence of what you’ve done and where you’re currently at.
Confidence, then, becomes your foundation.
Without confidence, your imagination is weakened. Having confidence allows you to think bigger about your life.
The more confidence you have, the more imagination and courage you can have. You need both imagination and courage to create a better life.
In order to have real confidence, you not only need to succeed at what you’re doing. You need to COMPLETE things (of course, some things should be dropped).
If you’ve been avoiding things in your life, then you can’t have confidence. Avoidance means you’re living in and dragging the past with you, wherever you go.
Confidence comes from being congruent with yourself. It also comes from completing hard things. As you become increasingly congruent with yourself, and as you complete big stuff, your confidence will soar. This will open your future up in amazing ways.
What are you avoiding?
What must you complete?
How can you become more congruent in your life?
This article was first published at Inc