By Azugbene Solomon
Falling in love with someone is one of the most beautiful things in the world, but what fairy-tales don’t reveal is that it is S C A R Y!
It’s actually one of the scariest emotions I have ever felt and all it takes is one person to make you feel it.
Just ONE person. The right person. YOUR person.
I believe that we all have a soulmate in this world and fate will lead you to them no matter what. Once you reach each other, nothing can stop you. Every couple has their rough patches but when you find your other half, nothing can come between you. It’s you and them against the world.
Nothing is scary than falling in love. You learn to depend on this person more than you can depend on yourself. Your happiness relies on them and vice-versa. You can’t imagine your life without them in it and they become your favorite part of every day. Your best self has it’s arms around them. You’re happiest when you’re with them and the feelings the give you are indescribable. They’re overwhelming.
When you feel yourself beginning to fall for a person, it’s the scariest thing in the world. You want to make sure that they know you love them with every fiber of your being. At the same time, you don’t want to become so obsessed that you scare them away. You don’t want to express how your feeling if it’s not 100% mutual.
Why we are Scared to Fall in Love
1. Why Fear Love?
With all the pop culture shenanigans pushing us to believe that love is the answer to everything in life, we have been victimised. The love songs, the romantic movies, the poems that praise her beauty, the novels that promise you eternal rain, and the changing of seasons. Everyone and everything seem to be playing the fool with our poor hearts. But what you really need to understand is that love besides being an idea, is also a very scary idea. How on earth are you to devote your life to that one person, and then again be an ardent devotee, one who never fails.
2. Being Vulnerable
Letting ourselves fall in true love is an act of letting ourselves go lose. This means we are at our vulnerable best, and all that matters is the feeling of being wanted and the feeling of being safe in each others arms. There is a great amount of trust that we put in our better half, and we completely depend on them. There is the fear of getting hurt and it is believed that the more you care, the more are the possibilities of getting hurt.
3. Past Hurts
We are in the fear of getting hurt and this is because we get reminded of past relationships. We look at our relationship and get scared when there is any sign of a past relationship. We get paranoid and start to over think, and this then leads to doubt in our heart. All this can be really stressful.
4. Sense of Insecurity
There is a constant fear that the love of your life would be with someone else. This fear of insecurity can drive one crazy, and can lead to problems. No one wants to get hurt at the end of it, and there are so many fish in the sea that one cannot possibly be that his or her lover would reamain would be forever their own.
5. Level of Feeling
Often we have seen how the level of feeling differs between a man and a woman. It so happens that when you love someone you tend to keep that person by your side and care for him or her the most, but that level of feeling and intimacy may not be shared by him or her. Therefore, we again get scared regarding the outcome of giving our heart, mind and soul to a person completely.
6. An Impending Doom
Love makes us feel so nice, it makes us feel wonderful. Everything else looks futile and we are at the top of the world when we are in love. It is sheer joy. This also has a flip side. If things do not turn out the way we want it to then we can be in for a real shock. It would be as good as the end of days for us, and it is definitely a horrible feeling. We are scared that things may not turn out all that great in the end.
7. Breaking an Old Connection
When we get into a relationship we tend to break away from our family, this happens in an emotional level and not physical level. We become autonomous individuals who are starting to live our own lives and are working to make our own family, and this could mean detachment from the initial family. It is breaking away from an old identity and creating a new one. But wise individuals would know how to strike a balance.
8. Being Consumed
If your love is true and deep then you would probably have consumed each other emotionally. This fear is one of the most important ones to look out for. At times you may feel so much love that it can amount to craziness and you would then want to set free, you would want to run away and be all by yourself.
9. Scared of Losing
The most common fear is the fear of losing this person whom you have decided to love so dearly. There is every chance that things will change and will not be as great as it once was or now is. Therefore, one thing that every one fears is the fear of losing in love.
10. Scared of being Trapped
Love often makes us feel like we are trapped with this one person, and the only job we have left to do is to love this person. Everything else seems to be null and void, the only ambition we have in life is to be with this person, each day of our lives. This could feel like a trap and could keep you under wraps, never really opening your life up.