The Reasons Why Other People’s Success Should Inspire You


By Azugbene Solomon


I have seen this many times and, honestly, I have been guilty of it myself: Facebook posts about amazing new jobs or acceptances into top schools. Instagrams littered with drunken photos of full moon parties in South East Asia. Her engagement. His new car. Their cute baby. The list goes on.

As you witness your peers start to take these steps, you will begin to reflect on your own life and what you’ve done with it — or rather, what you haven’t done.

You will feel left behind, as if others’ progression is your regression. You will feel envy and resentment of others for their achievements, status and possessions.

There are many reasons, however, why success should be celebrated and not condemned. Below are three all-encompassing examples of why we should meet peoples’ successes with positivity.

LEARN FROM OTHERS

Work to feel admiration and good will. Provide encouragement. Learn from people. If you want to start a business, do it. Propose to your girlfriend, travel in Europe, learn a new skill; chances are, you probably know someone who has already done it, so gain whatever valuable insight you can.

Look to the people who are doing what you want to do and ask them for counsel and advice. Which hostel in France was best? Where did you buy that engagement ring? What platform do you use for your blog?

Can you take a look at my business plan? These, and countless other questions, are things you can run by experienced peers.

Get all of the free advice you can because the people you are asking will likely be more than happy to help. These people understand the value of exchanging ideas, working together and collaborating. Use their wisdom to ensure you don’t make the same mistakes as those who came before you.

ABSORB SUCCESS

Surely, we all wish success could be contagious, like the common cold — make out with a millionaire and wake up an entrepreneur. Sadly, this is not how it works; but, spending time with happy and successful people can inspire you to reach your potential.

Of course, luck and chance do play their roles in our lives, but it is also about seizing opportunity, being resourceful, adapting and making the most of any and all situations in which you may find yourself.

This is the key to success: The right combination of luck and being ready for an opportunity. Take action and experience the results.

You really are the product of those with whom you associate. We may suffer from delusions of grandeur, but really, if your friends are not living up to their potentials and challenging themselves, you likely aren’t either.

By spending time with and learning from driven, ambitious and successful people, you will start to adapt and, in turn, adopt their mentality. Put yourself in situations that hold the promise of adventure and opportunity.

This will allow you, in a sense, to absorb the successful traits of those around you so that you can incorporate them into your lifestyle.

ENVY IS COUNTERPRODUCTIVE

Being envious of others will not affect their success but will only deter and prolong your own lack of it. You are wasting time instead of creating and seizing opportunity.

Do not compare your life to anyone else’s because you will never know the whole story. This will only lead you to second-guess every decision you make and further delay your eventual success and growth.

Separate yourself from the negativity because it will do nothing but bring you down. Examine other people’s successes with hope, not jealousy. Allow their successes to ignite your perseverance and determination. When you’re true to yourself, your life will be better.

Things That Will Happen When You Enjoy the Success of Others

While jealously is a normal and common reaction, learning to stifle it can open up more doors than you could ever imagine. Take, for examples, these 10 things that happen when you learn to enjoy other people’s success:

1. You will feel happier

Emotions are contagious and self-replicating. Negativity breeds more negativity and positivity breeds positivity. When you enjoy the success of others, you start a positive feedback loop of positive thinking in your own mind. It works even if you have to fake your enthusiasm at first.

2. You will be liked

When you learn to celebrate other people’s accomplishments in a sincere way, you will stand out from the pack of people who only superficially support them. They will be able to tell when you really mean it and they will feel like you are a real ally. And it never hurts to have successful friends.

3. You will learn new things

When you stop feeling jealous and actually start celebrating other people’s victories, you will start to recognize patterns of behavior that lead to success. By internalizing what different people do to achieve their goals and remembering which strategies work and which don’t, you will gain a better understanding of what is required to move yourself forward.

4. You will be exposed to opportunities

Successful people are smart enough to remember the people who legitimately supported them on their way up. For that reason, when you enjoy the success of others you imbed yourself in the mind of a person who might be able to help you out later on.

5. You will surround yourself with success

If you choose to attend the party celebrating your co-worker’s new promotion instead of hiding in a dark corner plotting your revenge, you might just find yourself in a perfect networking opportunity. Just like emotions, success itself is contagious. When you immerse yourself in the culture of success, you increase the chance that some of it will rub off on you.

6. You will become a more confident person

When you incorporate positive thinking into your default response to events that happen around you, the world will start to seem like a brighter, more friendly place. You will recognize and remember opportunities and you will begin to internalize that trait that have helped other people achieve success. The upshot is a more confident and self-assured you.

7. You will stop comparing yourself to others

When you start celebrating other people you will take energy away from actively comparing yourself to them. Nothing will make you feel more free than letting go of the feeling that you always have to measure up to those around you. Step into the role of a student and see what knowledge you can gain from the successful people you know.

8. You will be inspired

Following the life stories of people who have accomplished what you are working towards can inspire you. They will show you that success is possible and present you with ways of achieving it you may not have considered. Use that motivation to work towards your own success.

9. You will inspire others

When people see you supporting a coworker in their recent success, they may reconsider their own negative reactions. By setting aside petty jealousy you can set a good example for the people around you and teach them to celebrate the positive things in life, even if they may not directly effect you.

10. You will increase the likelihood of your own success

As we have seen, celebrating the success of other people will help you expand your social network, learn new things, feel better, and identify alternate paths to achieving your own goals. For that reason, when you enjoy the success of others, you increase the likelihood of your own success. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

Reference
1. Elite Daily: 3 Reasons Why Other People’s Success Should Inspire Rather Than Discourage You by NICK HILL

2. Lifehack: 10 Things That Will Happen When You Enjoy the Success of Others by Steve Kux

28 Reasons You Are Not As Successful As You Should Be


By Azugbene Solomon


I’m guessing that you’re holding yourself back because of one of the following reasons.

Everybody wants to be successful in some way, shape, or form.

The trouble is, most people want to be seen or known as successful–more than they want to break the necessary bad habits required to actually be successful.

That’s because the lifestyle and rewards that come with success make everything seem easy.
People think: “Once I’m successful, I’ll have all the time in the world to do whatever I want.”

People think: “Once I’m successful, I’ll never have to work hard again.”

People think: “Once I’m successful, I won’t have to worry about things like money.”

And since those are the rewards they’re after, that’s all they focus on:
If they still don’t have “all the time in the world,” they’re unsuccessful.

If they’re still working, they’re unsuccessful.

If they’re still worrying about money, they’re unsuccessful.

As a result, they stay focused on all the wrong things–and ironically, never truly become successful.
People that fall short in life do so by their own volition. Unfortunately, they never realize it. They move through life chasing all the things they see other people enjoying at the end, without also seeing the habits, behaviors, and decisions those people had to make all along the way.

If you want to know why you’re not as successful as you should be, it’s probably because of one of these reasons:

1. You’re Lazy

This is the first and the most common reason that someone is not successful, according to author Jim Kukral. He adds, “Every single successful person works their butts off to get where they are. It’s ok to be lazy if you want to. Just admit it. But don’t whine about not being rich and successful, okay?”

2. You Keep Asking “Why Not Me?”

Speaking of complaining, stop wasting your time asking why other people are successful and you’re not. In most cases it wasn’t because they have inherited wealth or won the lottery. Every person in this world has either gone through – is going through now – or will get their chance for struggles. Everyone get to take their turn at hardship. Maybe it’s your turn. Instead of complaining, make a positive change that will help you pull out of your slump and find success.

3. You Get Stuck in Your Head

You’ll notice that there’s a common theme with successful people. They act on their dreams. Instead of only dreaming and overanalyzing everything that could go wrong, they start on the dream – they start laying the groundwork. As NHL legend Wayne Gretzky once said,”You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” Make your shot.

4. You’re Spending Too Much Time on Social Media

Did you know that the average American checks their Facebook, Twitter, or other social accounts a whopping 17 times a day? I know engaging your customers and influencers is important, but you don’t need to spend every free moment on social media. I have found that the best schedule for social is news and articles in the morning and make these quick reads, and make a quick personal and family social connection in the evening when things from the day calm down a little. Determine the amount of time you will spend on each of these times and stick to it.

5. You Never Finish What Your Started

Plenty of wise men have said, “Starting is easy, finishing is hard.” While it is important to know when to throw in the towel, you have to be patient and willing to see a project through. Remember, success never happens overnight, and anything that is really worth doing takes time and effort.

6. You Don’t Think a Business

Whether you’re a freelance writer or owner of an eCommerce site that sells basketball shoes, you’ll never be successful if you believe that you’re not actually a business. If you’re relying on this income, then it’s a real business and you need to start treating it like you would any other 9-to-5 job.

7. You Don’t Believe in Yourself

If you don’t believe in yourself, then are you willing to make any serious attempts? Even if it’s celebrating a small victory, like getting the contact information of a potential client, you need to find ways that will give your confidence a boost. Don’t run yourself down to others or even to yourself. It usually takes effort and doing the hard work that give actual better self-esteem.

8. You Feel Entitled

You’re not owed anything. If you want something badly, you’re going to have to go out there and earn it. Believing you are entitled slows you down and causes you to be waiting to see if something great will happen for you. Make it happen.

9. You Obsess Over Things That Aren’t Important

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have any other hobbies or interests outside of work, but when you’re more concerned about whether or not Beyonce’s ‘Lemonade’ will be available to stream on iTunes, as opposed to following up with a lead that has the potential to make some cash, then that’s a problem.

10. You Stay in Your Comfort Zone

Your comfort zone is a place where you feel safe and assured. While that comfort zone is needed from time-to-time, staying in your comfort zone ultimately leads to stagnation and sometimes it can lead to fear. You’ll never be able to grow and develop if you stay in one place.

11. You’re Not As Productive As You Could Be

Just because you’re working 8 or more hours a day doesn’t mean that you’re actually productive. Between distractions, breaks, and spending too much time on one task, you may actually only be working a couple hours a day. Invest in time management and time tracking tools to discover how productive your days really are so that you can make the appropriate changes.

12. You Focus Too Much on Money

If you start a business just because you think it will make you a billionaire, then you’re doing wrong. The most successful entrepreneurs and business owners aren’t fixated on money. They are focused on a making a great product first. There is a saying that says if you find what you really love to do, you will never work a day in your life.

13. You’re Not Passionate

If you’re not loving what you do, you’ll put 50% effort when you should be putting 100%. Without passion, you won’t stay inspired and motivated – especially when times get tough.

14. You’re a Negative Thinker

If you’re a negative thinker, or just a pessimist, then you’re going to put-up roadblocks to success – before you even try. In other words, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Work on a becoming a positive thinker by surrounding yourself with positive people and becoming more aware of your surroundings. Be aware of the self-talk conversations you have with yourself. Notice if your main conversations with others are ones where you dump all of your grievances on them. If that is the balance of your conversations – change it.

15. You Haven’t Established Goals

You plan nothing. You believe that someway everything you are hoping that will happen will magically appear in-front of you. It doesn’t work like that. Set goals and go for it. If you are not a big planner and not a big list maker – great. Start with being a small planner and a small list maker. One goal and one thing on the list at a time is fine.

16. You Don’t Know Who You Are

Sun Tzu wrote in ‘The Art of War,’ “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” This means that you need to know what you’re good at, what skills you can bring to the table, you have a set of values, and you establish specific goals in your life. Knowing who you are will guide you to success. What are your likes and dislikes? Start noticing.

17. You Give Up Too Easily

We all have those moments when we can just throw everything out the window. In fact, that feeling may last day or weeks. The thing is, success doesn’t come easy. It’s a part of the journey. Just because things aren’t going your way right now doesn’t mean that you should give-up on your hopes and dreams. Baby steps.

18. You Think You Can Do Everything On Your Own

There’s a myth that successful businesses were built by just one individual. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Jobs, Gates, and Zuckerberg all had assistance from Wozniak, Allen, and Saverin. Think of it this way, you could be a talented construction worker, but how far could you get when building your own house? No matter your talent or experience, you’ll still need to bring in others, such as a plumber or electrician, to help you complete construction. Even a friend along the way will help you. Begin setting up a support system for yourself if you don’t have one.

19. You Haven’t Managed Your Money Properly

Not managing money properly is one of the main reasons that a small business fails. Even in your personal life, however, this can be an issue. If you’re spending too much money in contrast to what you’re bringing, then how can you expect to pay your bills and set money aside for emergencies or retirement? Set a budget and stick to it. If need be, get in touch with a financial adviser. Many cities have financial help for free, teaching you how to take care of money. Adult education classes are also held on this subject for a smaller fee. The very first step is to add up exactly what your set bills are and have that figure in your mind all the time. Instead of eating out, go home and have a can of soup once in a while.

20. You’re a Perfectionist

That doesn’t mean that you should slack and deliver sub-par work. It means that no one is perfect and instead of wasting your time trying to perfect, just keep working on getting things done, such as accomplishing your goals. One foot in front of the other, on a daily and consistent basis helps. Timing yourself and doing your best work and then you’re finished works pretty well, too.

21. You Think Too Small

Don’t focus only on your short-term future. Have big enough dreams that will take you years ahead into the future. What have you always wanted to do. If you have always wanted to play the violin and you are 45 years old, you probably better get started.

23. You Aren’t Constantly Learning

Successful individuals are always looking for ways to enhance their lives by learning new information or skills. Whether it’s reading a book or participating in a webinar, don’t pass up any opportunities that can help you grow as a person. One of the best ways I have found to keep learning is to be interested in things that others are doing. Everyone is an expert at something. You can get a great mini-class from that expert. This can build great friendships, too. Sometimes you have to set aside a fear.

24. You Don’t Network

Regardless if it’s at local networking event or interacting with an industry leader on social media, networking is one of the best ways to improve your chances of success. For example, if you just published an article on your blog and an influencer shares that article on Twitter, you just got free publicity that could lead to increasing your brand awareness and landing a new lead. Be a connector and someone who includes everyone no matter who they are. Don’t be someone who excludes a person that is different or unusual. You never know when that person will be the one you need or the one who needs you – and you can do some good for someone. You can also learn new information when you network.

25. You Don’t Know When to Let Go

I mentioned earlier that you shouldn’t give up too early. But, you also need to be aware of when it’s time to let go. As Lolly Daskal says on Inc.com, “Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting; it just means you have learned your lessons here and now, and it’s time to embrace new challenges.”

26. You spend more time thinking about how you could work harder than most people–rather than actually doing the work.

It’s amazing how many people can talk, and talk, and talk about all the things they’re going to do.

But it’s even more amazing how many people claim their ability to work harder than the next person, without ever putting in the work themselves.

It’s a brutal truth that we all like to believe ourselves to be more capable than we actually are. And we also like to think that anyone who has achieved success was just lucky, or “knew someone.”

But the truth is, unsuccessful people say those things so they can avoid acknowledging the real issue: someone else is doing the work, and someone else is reaping the rewards.

27. You spend time instead of investing it.

I believe there are two types of people.

The first is someone who sees time as a token for consumption. They can spend their time consuming movies, TV shows, social media. They can spend their time on vacations and travel and adventures. They can spend their time on friends and outings and concerts and events. Time is theirs to spend, and they’re always looking for new ways to spend it.

The second is someone who sees time as a token for investment–and when invested correctly, can reap the rewards of compounding interest. They invest their time in people and relationships that provide positive value. They invest their time into activities that nurture a desired skill or teach them something new. They invest their time into projects and pursuits that encourage growth in some area of their lives. Time is theirs to invest, and the more they invest in people and things that show compounding interest, the richer they become in knowledge, understanding, and even money.

Unsuccessful people spend time.

Successful people invest time.

28. You don’t understand the concept of opportunity cost.

Every successful person I know lives their life by the rule of opportunity cost.

They understand that for every hour they spend doing X, that’s an hour they cannot invest doing Y. And they are hyper aware of the delta between those two variables–meaning, while they might be making a fair amount of money doing X, they are missing out on the potential long-term gains of forgoing that immediate reward for a future payoff result for doing Y.

Unsuccessful people don’t understand opportunity cost. All they see is what is in front of them–not what they could potentially do now to reap bigger, better rewards later.

The challenge with adhering to the rule of opportunity cost is you have to stay true to the vision you have for yourself that has not yet been manifested. It’s not easy giving up what’s immediate, what’s gratifying now. However, that’s the small price you have to pay in order to invest your time.

There are only so many hours in the day. If you spend them all, there will be none left to invest.

Reference
1. Inc: 3 Reasons You Are Not As Successful As You Should Be by Nicolas Cole

2 Inc: 25 Reasons You Are Not as Successful as You Should Be by John Rampton

The Key To Success Is In Your Own Hands


Azugbene Solomon


No one was born without a talent or gift. We were all born with special talents or gifts necessary for our destined success.

But the problem with us is that we’re lazy to explore our talents.

Don’t expect anyone to spoon-feed you in order to show your talent. We need to identify with our talents and do something about them.

Instead of watching yourself in the mirror singing, why don’t you take your gift out there and have it spotted by music producers?

Most of us miss our golden opportunities by not taking chances when there are competitions. Why not take a bold step and contest with others to test your worth?

You must try not to fail, but don’t fail to try. An opportunity comes to us like a train and once you miss it, you might not catch it again. Our talents and gifts are hidden in our lives like gold and diamonds.

If we don’t mine them out, we’ll remain in a state of poverty. Some of us are naturally talented, but we need formal training to polish our skills so that we can shine.

When you choose to bury your talent, expect to harvest nothing in your life.

But when you sell your talent to the world, expect to harvest wealth and prosperity.

Nobody was born to be a spectator of successful people.

You too have been wired with the necessary tools to attain your own success.

Let’s break out of our cocoon of self-pity and start chasing our dreams. It’s time to work hard to realise our dreams.

The definition of “success” is different for each of us, depending on our personal and professional goals and aspirations. What is universal about success, however, is that it is our own responsibility. Too often people blame their lack of success on external factors:

“My company didn’t give me enough training.”
“My lead list is really weak.”
“My prospects just aren’t buying.”

Remember, it is not somebody else’s responsibility to make you successful, and it is nobody else’s fault if you fail. Come to terms with these facts and you’ll be well on your way to achieving the success you desire. Write down your goals (both immediate and long-term), create a list of action items that will help you reach these goals, and keep yourself in check.

Don’t pressured yourself by other people’s success

As people, we each have different destinations and this means we cannot travel the same road. What if your route is not the usual one that everyone else has taken?

As someone who loves helping others, have you thought about volunteering your services at non-profit organisations?

I think this may steer you in the direction you should be in.

Do not be pressured by other people’s success, because every tree grows at its own pace.

Some trees grow faster than others, but what is important is that they all eventually bear fruit. Please don’t give up on life.

5 Ways To Stop Pressuring Yourself By Other People’s Success

Jealousy is a normal emotion that everyone experiences. If you’re not careful, however, jealousy can grow into resentment and bitterness. And those destructive emotions could lead to a vicious downward spiral.

I’ve seen this happen countless times in my therapy office. Clients feel as though they’re not measuring up in life because they can’t compete with their friends and co-workers. Soon, they grow consumed with hostility because they feel like they’re not getting their fair share.

Social media seems to amplify resentment. Spend two minutes scrolling through Facebook and it’s easy to become convinced your friends are happier, healthier, and wealthier as they post their latest vacation photos and announce their good fortune. But studies show envying your friends on social media leads to depression.

Whether you envy a co-worker who got a promotion, or you’re resentful that your boss drives a car you can’t afford, resenting other people’s success is bad for your health, your relationships, and your career. It’ll drain your mental strength and hold you back from reaching your greatest potential.

Here are five ways to stop resenting other people’s success:

1. Stop comparing yourself to other people.

It’s easy to look at social media and think, “My family doesn’t have that much fun together,” or “My house isn’t nearly as nice as my friends’ homes.” But life isn’t meant to be a competition.

Drawing comparisons between yourself and other people is like comparing apples and oranges. Your journey is unique and it’s important to honor your individuality.

Whenever you catch yourself comparing your life to someone else’s life, remind yourself you’re not in a race. Your job is to do your best with what you’ve been given, regardless of what those around you are doing.

2. Reframe your scarcity mindset.

Thinking opportunities are scarce leads to a “Lord of the Flies” mentality. That’s why companies try to convince you products are in short-supply—so you’ll gobble them up before anyone else does.

But, just because your neighbor is wealthy doesn’t mean he’s taking money away from you. And a co-worker’s promotion doesn’t mean you can’t have a good job too. You may need to look at other companies or other departments, but there’s more than one perfect job out there.

It’s easy to get caught up into thinking that everything is a once in a lifetime opportunity or that other people’s success means you can’t succeed too. But in reality, very few things in life have a limited supply.

One thing that is limited, however, is time. And every minute you waste resenting someone else’s success is 60 seconds you give away.

3. Look at the big picture.

No one has a perfect life. But, the small snapshot you’re seeing may look more glamorous than it really is—especially if you’re looking at someone’s life on social media. Just because your co-worker earns more money or your neighbor is more attractive, doesn’t mean that person has a charmed life.

Rather than staying focused on someone’s good fortune, zoom out and keep things in proper perspective. You don’t know what hardships someone else may be experiencing. Even if an individual doesn’t appear to be struggling on the outside, you have no idea what sort of mental battles that person may be fighting.

4. Don’t judge what’s fair.

Sometimes, it’s tempting to make generalizations based on what we think is fair in life. She didn’t deserve that raise because she doesn’t work as hard as I do. He doesn’t deserve to have a successful business when he treats his employees like dirt.

The truth is, life isn’t always going to be fair—at least not in the way you view fairness. Insisting you deserve more and someone else deserves less wastes your time and energy. Accept the things you can’t control and focus on being the best version of yourself, without keeping score.

5. Create your own definition of success.

It’s hard to be resentful of someone when you realize they’re not running the same race as you. In fact, you can celebrate their accomplishments when you view life as an opportunity to cooperate, rather than compete.

Write down your definition of success and know your values. Recognize that other people are working on their own accomplishments. Their achievements don’t have to diminish or minimize your own.

Keep your eyes on your own path to success. The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Try to become a little better every day and you’ll feel less threatened by other people’s achievements.

5 Step Formula for Success

Why is it that some people seem able to succeed at whatever they put their mind to whilst others set off with gusto and enthusiasm which fizzles out and they give up short of their target?

There are probably several explanations but one might be that the second group are ignoring the formula for success that could be held in their own hand. It can be used to achieve success in any area of life, personal or professional.

This 5 step formula for success is simple, you can count the steps on the fingers of one hand, which may be why so many ignore it. But sometimes there is genius in simplicity.

Know your outcome: Define exactly what it is that you want. Where is it you are going? Be specific, not vague and fuzzy. Know precisely what your ‘desired outcome’ is.

Why do you want it?: Ask yourself how you will benefit from this outcome? What will it give you? What will you gain and what will you move away from?

Take action: Formulate you plan in writing. Break it down into steps. Create your stepping stones and your path to success. Then take courage and take action!

Review and Revise: Is it working? Examine your results. The plan may only succeed in some areas and not in others. How can it be revised to make it better? What needs to be changed to get the results you want?

Adapt your approach: Charles Darwin said, “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, or the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Rewrite and improve plans as necessary and take alternative actions. Then repeat steps 4 & 5. Make progress by adapting your approach, reviewing and improving your plans and actions. If you stick to this process, you are far more likely to achieve your goal and in the shortest possible time.

Conclusion

Take the time to revisit your goal. Know your desired outcome. What will it look like to you? How will you feel when you have achieved it? What will you be saying to yourself when that day comes? What will it mean for you and those around you?

Wishing you all the success you can hold in your hands…

Reference
1. Daily Sun: Success is in your hands

2. Selling Energy: Success is in your own hands

3. Cazbro: Your Success is in Your Hands: A 5 Step Formula for Success

4. Forbes: 5 Ways To Stop Resenting Other People’s Success